Day 5! The LAST DAY!!! We have arrived people!
It's been some journey, I'd just like to thank my.....
What? Oh FFS, ok ok , we've another day to go. Jesus, ruin a moment why don't you?
On the LAST DAY what words of wisdom, what inspirational tit bit did the Ginger have for us?
"Just survive"
OK, it's some serious sh!t when all you have to do it live. Don't die. What the EFF does he have in store? I'm scared but I'm also a survivor
20 Mother EFFING rounds on the bag. Lads, ladies and all those who have decided otherwise, I am SICK of 20 rounds on the bag. I AM the f!cking bag. Jesus. I just...
And so it begins. This whole session is just one "Kill me now" after another. I'm kinda seeing where Eddie's inspiring words came from.
A note on abs - Every day this week, Eddie has said reassuringly, lovingly even; "Sit down here now" and I've thought (every time!) "Self, he sees how fecked you are. You're going to get a pep talk".
Smelly a!se crack! We sit down and it's a flipping bazillion abs! F**ker
Then it's weights. Lots of carrying heavy things. Three times. Lots of it. With skipping as a treat. YAY!
"Sit down here now lads". Yeah yeah yeah, I see it now!!! ABS!!!
Ok, it's combo time. Which means breathing. I like breathing. Oh but no! we're going to spar each other. Oh yay.
OK no actually, that was a lot of fun. Honestly I think it proves just how amazing the group has been this week. Sometimes you look around and think "jesus" (or if you're Rosa "sheezuz"), but this was a great bunch of people. All week all they've done is encourage and take the pish.
Time to have a sit down with Eddie. Yeah you get the drill.
And then. And then. With 15 minutes go to.
Sit down. No really.
Do you kow what we said?
100
One HUNDRED burpees!!
Oh how we laughed!
Unfortunately the f&&ker was serious.
100?!?!?!?!?
I am convinced that the devil was on earth and decided to curse us all with the worst thing he could think of and came up with burpees. It''s f&&&ing bas^^d exercises are inhuman, against some NATO agreement, give me a minute and I'll find one.
And we were DONE!!! Done!!
Things that actually went through my mind during this week:
Is he serious?
There is no way I can do that?
Oh, I'm doing that!
Oh FFS. Breathe, just breathe, Can you do that? Just breathe
One more, ok three more
Look! Look what you did!
Ok, I can do this
Sweet mother of all that's holy I will kill him!
Jesus, I dunno if I can do this
I wonder has anyone actually ever died here?
Would anyone notice is I died?
Eddie would probably use my corpse as a weight, f&cker!
I could just walk out the door. No one would see.
Just survive.
The moral of the week - you can do so much more than you think you can.
Not as much as Eddie thinks you can, but SO much more than you think you can.