FIGHTING FITNESS PROGRAM BOOT CAMP - 3rd November 2015

[R. Devane]

The Fighting Fitness Boot Camp is back and we're uncaging Eddie Lawlor again to teach it. This is always one of the most popular courses that we run so please register your interest early. This course will have you Fighting Fit for Christmas

www.martialartsinc.com/contents/events/2015/FFPBCnov2015.pdf

[Deleted]

Starting tomorrow and I am totally looking forward to this, I have plenty of beginners in it this year which I am so happy about. Means new ways and means of torturing them and having a great time just in time for Crimbo! Roll on tomorrow evening!

[dkidd]

Go for it guys and best of luck Eddie

[Shelly]

Eddie requested I report back on my FF BC -

Bless me Sensei for I have sinned, it has been over a year since my last bootcamp. In my defence I had a lot to deal with. Zayn leaving One Direction #AlwaysinourheartsZayn, them announcing a break, Ireland not winning the eurovision AGAIN. I know, its no excuse!

So I decided let's do this, I mean I remember doing other ones. I am a veteran of the bootcamp, I felt like Eddie should have some sort of medal for me as I stepped
into the blessed dojo for the fun and games that is FFBC. Like the thundering eejit that I am I decided to do class before the bootcamp, to warm up as you would. Thanks for those jumping kicks Derek

I'm a strong believer that a picture tells a thousand words and if I needed one image to sum up last night it would be this.

We started with bouncing. Lots of bouncing, back and forth and side to side and back and forth. Did I mention Eddie had a coffee about an hour beforehand? Always a danger sign. To distract me from the pain of bouncing, my poor calves, I pictured out lovely sensei like this.

Rocking that lycra Eddie

Bouncing and punching and more bouncing and punching and the noise of people crying. Wait, that's me. He didn't mess around, lots of jump in, jab, jump in crosses, back out. Jumping Jacks.
He mentioned the warm up was a slow burn and he wasn't going to kill us. Until later in the class. The evil man that he is.

Break time!

Wahoo! Water. I am grand, its all in the mind, this tired malarky. He has not broken me yet. The break is over already? That wasn't 60 seconds, note to self bring your own stopwatch or steal his.

Straight into bag work. I had a cunning plan, hide at the back. Usually works except he likes to walk about and watch people like the sadist, I mean instructor that he is. 10 reps of jump in jab. 10 fast reps. Repeat 5 times. 10 reps of jump in and cross. 10 fast reps. Repeat 5 times. Apologise to arms and shoulders and hips. 10 reps of jump in jab cross. 10 fast reps. I've lost count. Lead hooks, 10. When will this madness end. Right hooks.

Break! I crawled to my bag to grab a blessed banana, fuel would help negate the pain. Alas not. Pain is tempor, how do you spell that again? Oh he's off again, oh goody we are 'upping the intensity'. In regular person speak this means, you will be sorry you ever signed up for this you mad bunch of muppets. Toto was nowhere to be seen. Tabata training. My favourite, you know I prefer her sisters Agatha and Bagatha, they seem more laid back. 10 sets of 20 seconds of killing the bag as hard as you can. 1.2 second break. VLT. I decided to google Tabata:

Tabata training is one of the most popular forms of high-intensity interval training (HIIT).

I would have laughed at that were my abs actually able to enage.

Break!

Next he wanted us to slow dance with the bag. He's not serious! Surely its 9 o'clock, it has to be.

We had to grab the bag as tight as we would and squeeze the biceps? I don't know body parts, that part from your shoulder to your elbow. This reminded me of the slow set at the discos back home. Except obviously being from the country you'd slow dance with your brother/cousin whatever family member you could grab. I realised my arms were too short go around the bag. I was channeling my inner T-Rex

Now that the bicep-arm-bits were tired he wanted us to punch again. AGAIN. I know, you are reaching for your phone to call Amnesty. Fear not good people. We are nearing the end. Needless to say the bag had a good laugh at me and the lightest punches I have ever thrown.

Down to the floor, yay! Abs, not so yay. He mentioned we were working the lower abs this week. There are more than one set of Abs? So we worked them and then the fecking plank. This

We were done! Until Thursday Circuits, yay!

[dkidd]

Hehe brilliant and remember....It is good for you

[R. Devane]

That is the best write up on the net please continue to keep us posted Shelly

[Shelly]

Having learned nothing from Tuesday, I decided to go for the 7pm class before BC. What a fool I am! I think that the senseis gather together and have league tables of how difficult they can make a class and how much they can push the students. To make them fitter obviously. Not for their own enjoyment. So knowing I had a circuit ahead of me, and thinking of the last time I did the bootcamp I thought I had a fair idea of what was in store, Martin announces that we are doing a circuit in the 7pm class. Thanks for nothing Martin.

Nicely 'warmed up' Eddie starts the class by telling us he is changing the circuit from previous years. Insert bad word here.

He mentioned how he was going to up the ante, make it more x-rated. I know what you dirtbirds are thinking. Mind out of the gutter. I guess by the end of it I knew what he meant. It was x-rated for the language we would be using to get through each station.

3 minute circuits. THREE minutes of HELL.

Now I can see you sitting there sipping your coffee thinking but Shelly three minutes isn't that big a deal. Let me reach outta the screen and slap you upside the head.


I am going through the circuits from where I started them.

Circuit 1 - Shadow boxing with weights
Note to self, try not to slug yourself in the face with the weight. Telling people you beat yourself up on a regular basis will make them think you are either an idiot or very deep.

Min 1 - I can do this, this isn't too bad, here I was worried about 3 mins, ha in your face Eddie. Wait don't say that out loud, ow, did I just hit myself in the cheek with the fecking weight. What a numptie.
Min 2 - This is actually tougher than it looks, my arms are quite tired, I hope they get a break next circuit, what was it again, oh yeah boxing. Grand.

My PIC* Joan could sense my inner turmoil, with all the crying and snot bubbles and told me that there wasn't much time left and I was doing great. This motivated me for about 10 seconds. Her positivity dropped per circuit.
Min 3 - Oh.my.god, my arms. MY ARMS

Circuit 2 - Boxing

Min 1 - Combos, let's work the combos, move around, bounce, keep your guard.
Min 2 - These minutes are going really really slowly.
Min 3 - When will the lambs stop screaming, what's a jab, I don't know any punches. I want to go home.

Circuit 3- Rope ladder

Look at her go. That is how one should do it

Here's how I did it.

Circuit 4 - Boxing
See circuit 2 for details, things are slowly getting worse.

Circuit 5 - Speedball
This wasn't too bad mainly because I was dead at the time.

Circuit 6 - Boxing
See circuit 2 for details, things are slowly getting worse.

Circuit 7 - Pushups and some other method of torturing your arms. 10 reps of 10.
This was the devil. Joan had somewhat prepared for me it by throwing the towel on the ground and stomping to the next circuit. I had a feeling it wasn't a nice station.

Min 1 - I don't know to go on my knees, I can defo do this, pace myself, work the core etc etc.
Min 2 - Well its not really cheating if I go on my knees.
Min 3 - Can someone tell if I am moving up and down because my nose is very close to the mat.

Circuit 8 - Boxing
Sweet mother of the divine, the arms, my arms, my shoulders! Everything hurts. Well not my ears but it sounds less dramatic if you say Everything apart from my ears and nose and head and the other parts that I didn't work out hurt.

Circuit 9 - Skipping
There I go with my imagenery friends.

Circuit 10 - Boxing
If I just throw my gloves at the bag for three minutes does it count as boxing?

Break time!

And we did it all again for 1.5 minutes. One a half minutes people. Oh yeah, it was easier then three minutes but everything is relative when your body is falling apart. Re-read the above descriptions for a shorter period of time.

And just because he seems to like the photoshop jobs I do, Eddie, this one is for you

*Partner in Crime

[Deleted]

Ha ha, Shelly asked me yesterday did I not like the One Direction pic of myself and the lads... I loved it! Ha ha

On a serious note, well done to Shelly and the rest of the crew on a successful first week. Pushed it hard you guys did and the results will be shown by the end of this course. Well done and roll on the kicks! Boom!

[clickhere]

It's MAI Fighting Fitness Boot Camp 2015!

It's Week 2!

It's Class 3!

And here is the news:

This week in Boot Camp it’s …

* dramatic pause *

… leg week.

May Dolly have mercy on our souls.

With the assistance of the absolute greatest four-on-the-floor '90s dance anthems, Eddie and his impeccably coiffed quiff powered us through an hour of agony. Glorious, wondrous agony.

First up, a 20 minute warm-up like something from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

This involved 100 squats – 10 at a time, interspersed by a myriad ways of jumping: bouncing side-to-side on toes, lepping legs together from side-to-side, front to front, kicking heels to rumps, and out to the side, jogging with knees high, and with heels in. It was an endless agony.

Lovely.

Then, we had 20 minutes of kicks. Via the medium of window washing analogies.

This was no big deal. All it involved was 10 reps each of: left leg front kick, right leg front kick, both legs front kick, left leg roundhouse kick, right leg roundhouse kick, both legs roundhouse kick, left side kick, right leg side kick, both legs side kick, left leg outside crescent kick, right leg outside crescent kick, left leg inside crescent kick, right leg inside crescent kick, left leg axe kick, right leg axe kick.

My god, look at all that! I think I’m re-traumatised..

As if all that wasn’t enough, next we were made to channel our inner Bond Girl Villan and attempt to crush a punch bag using only our thighs. Followed by mountain climbers. Repeatedly. Over and over.

When will this agony end?? And why did I sign up for it!?

Then it was time for a sit. Hurrah! Our little sweaty faces lit up. It was music to our sweaty little ears. Eddie continued. It was time for a sit – in the form of 30-second horse stances at the wall, interspersed with 30 seconds of kicks.

I would have wept in despair, but I think by then I had sweated all the liquid from my body.

Finally, it was time for obliques. All the obliques. Twisty elbow-to-knee sit ups (the technical term, don’t you know), side sit ups on both sides, and ankle touching sit ups. Followed by a minute of plank. Or, in my case, falling on my face repeatedly.

So, today, I proudly hobbled to work, looking like someone from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Thank you, Eddie!

[R. Devane]

Can I just say, this is the best thread ever, thanks to Shelly and Joan. I eagerly await the reports

[clickhere]

MAI FFBC 2015 Week 2 Class 4
Thursday, 12/11/2015


Round and round and round it goes
When it ends, nobody knows...

"Circuit."

It's such an innocuous word.

Just a fancy way of saying "circle," really.

And circles are so often associated with good things:

Simba the Lion

The harmony of Aikido

But not here.

Not today.

Today, circuits mean something else entirely.

Something terribly bad and seemingly endless.

Think Dante’s seventh circle of hell. But much, much sweatier.

And somehow - inexplicably, even - so good.

Yes, it's FFBC Leg Week Circuits.

“Leg Week Circuits? But what does that mean?” I hear you ask.

It means Eddie presiding over a veritable Montessori class of adults in tremendous pain.

Look at us all there, having the craic, powering through the pain **

(** May not actually be the MAI FF BC crew)

It means 3 minutes kicks on the bag.

Followed by 3 minutes of jumping, hopping and bopping along the dreaded ladder.

Followed by 3 minutes of kicks on the bag.

Followed by 3 minutes of barrel jumps.

Followed by 3 minutes of kicks on the bag.

Followed by 3 minutes of skipping with the leather-and-metal Skipping Rope Of Doom.

Followed by 3 minutes of kicks on the bag.

Followed by 3 minutes of alternating mountain climbers and abs.

Followed by 3 minutes of kettle bell squat lifts.

Followed by 3 minutes of kicks on the bag.

Followed by a break!

Followed by round 2 of circuits!

Which means 90 seconds of kicks on the bag.

Followed by 90 seconds of jumping, hopping and bopping along the dreaded ladder.

Followed by 90 seconds of kicks on the bag.

Followed by 90 seconds of barrel jumps.

Followed by 90 seconds of kicks on the bag.

Followed by 90 seconds of skipping with the leather-and-metal Skipping Rope Of Doom.

Followed by 90 seconds of kicks on the bag.

Followed by 90 seconds of alternating mountain climbers and abs.

Followed by 90 seconds of kettle bell squat lifts.

Followed by 90 seconds of kicks on the bag.

Followed by a break!

Followed by 1 minute of planking (again, mostly on my face) and warm-down.

Followed by whimpers of pain.

Followed by groans of agony

Followed by wobbling home like some kind of Bambi-John Wayne hybrid creature.

And it was wonderful!

Thank you, Eddie!




PS: Thanks, Rob! : )

[Deleted]

Loving the reports Joan, very well done! Don't worry people, Joan's reports are as good as her kickboxing skills! She's done very well this year and getting stuck in since week 1! It's a great bunch this year, they train extremely hard and haven't gave me one bit of hassle (they know I don't listen to their complaints anyways ). The crew is doing the business and long may it continue into tonight's sesh! Boom!

[Shelly]

My buddy Joan has been struck down with JoanFlu so I was the Lone Ranger tonight. Get well soon Joan!

Considering all the warnings about how bad Storm Barney, really who names a storm after a big purple dinosaur anyways,

I was expecting a lot of this

What I actually got was this

My hair was not having a good day. Onwards to class, Derek was MIA as opposed to MAI so Eddie took the first class. He decided to go Declan Style. I was nicely warmed up for Bootcamp. I had naively assumed with it being Week 3 and us having trained through 2 weeks things could not get worse. Alas not.

Eddie started his dance moves, sorry warm up

Down for 10 pushups. Bounce, dance, boogie. Repeat 10 times

jab, cross, roundhouse kick

roundhouse kick, jab cross

front kick, cross, hook

cross, hook, front kick

Then he tells us we have a chance at revenge. Or something like that. We get to hit the punchbag 100 times and pretend its his face. YAY! We belted through it. He saunters around twirling his mustache. He tells us we did okay. We didn't do much damage to him. He wants another 100 as hard and as fast as we can. The bag is crying, my arms are crying, everything hurts. Apparently he's sort of hurt now.
In my head this is him

100 more. How is he not knocked out yet? Final round.

More combos -

Jab, 1 roundhouse kick, jab 2 roundhouse kicks, jab , three. You get the idea. When we got to 7 the evil genius that he is offered us the option of going back down or continuing to 10. How is one supposed to think and kick at the same time. We went for the 10. He whiped out his calculator whilst we had our break. Turns out we should have have went for the counting down. We did more going to 10. He's so motivating when he's like this.


Squats!

He even offered us a chair and then proceeded to judge us.

Rest

Abs with 1 minute and 30 seconds of plank, that's 90 seconds of a plank. That's what Amnesty calls torture.

Home - I was feeling charitable now that he had finished torturing us and offered him a lift home

Until Thursday good people

[Shelly]

Week 3 - The Circuit

There is an eerie quiet in the dojo as we all line up. We all minus two, two fallen comrades. Two souls who are probably at this moment so happy not to be here.

Its like a horror movie, we start to lose people, if someone says they'll be right back I am tying them to the nearest punchbag. For their own safety obviously, not because I want the company.

Meanwhile back at the dojo its

and

or should I say empty gloves at empty punchbags. Our miserable little faces do not stop Eddie, no sir, he is a man on a mission.

He describes the circuit. I can hear nothing, a few sniffles maybe

The circuit for the masochists is. Still 3 minutes long. Still hell on toast.

Every alternate circuit is a kickboxing combo on the bag. Cicruit 1, skipping. Not too bad, the arms are not overly tied. Yet. The legs however are a different story.

Kickboxing combo on the bag, I can hear myself breathing or gasping and someone crying somewhere. Eddie's choice of music raised eyebrows. Sexual Healing Eddie?
Really. The good news is my ears still work. Ever the motivator that he is walks past me and asks why my kicks are so slow. I am so tired

Tired, tyred, punchbag, get it? I know, its a stretch but I have used every ounce of energy that the potatoes gave me to make it through the circuit! Next circuit
Mountain climbers and abs. Did I mention the three minutes?
Combo, Barrel jumps. Google Images does not understand this expression and neither do we. Should wbe renamed Show your underwear or Where did my trousers go or What Sane person does this.
More combos, more silence, more me tickling the bag. The ladder, that's been okay the last few times, okay the foot work is hard but still not as bad as... WAIT. What the actual feck?

Weighted foot ladder, clearly we were all having too much fun on it. Feck sake. My arms.

Combo on the bag then kettle-bells. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Still no words exchanged between anyone. I can hear a digging noise, I assume someone has
tried to make a break for it.

We do it all again. What gets me through it is Eddie has promised for our last BC we can dress up in something festive and he'll play Christmas music. This is my vision for
the last BC. That's Eddie with the white beard. If it doesn't look anything like that I am done. DONE!

This will be me next week! I LOVE Christmas!

For now this is me

[R. Devane]

I don't want this boot camp to ever end because these reports have been classic. The best ever. I bet a lot of people have read them even if they haven't commented. Very well written. Ya know, you guys can use this forum a lot better than I can because I still struggle when trying to embed a picture

[Deleted]

I've never seen my face engraved on so many people, it's classic! I have people who have been training with me saying they are loving the reports, I'm loving this course and loving the crew who are training in it. Hard training, plenty of banter and to finish it off we are holding a Crimbo Circuit this coming Thursday night for the last class. I've my Evil Elf costume at the ready

P.s sorry Martin and your sparring crew in advance, the music will be hopping!

[clickhere]

MAI Fighting Fitness Boot Camp 2015

Week 4. Class 7. 24/11/2015.

It's MAI Fighting Fitness Boot Camp 2015!

It's Week 4 – final week!

It's Class 7 – our penultimate class!

Bring it!

Last week was kickboxing week, and I was all set to Holly Holm the absolute bejaysus out of it.

But no.

I was struck down by the tiniest, most formidable opponents of them all:

Germs.

So, while the Boot Camp Crew were slogging it out in the dojo, I was hacking up a lung in bed.

And the weirdest thing of all was – I missed this torture-dressed-up-as-fitness.

What is happening to me?!?

So, this week – kicks, punches, knees and elbows week – I was determined to make up for it and go to town on Boot Camping my way through class.

(Perhaps starting with a “warm up” class with Derek was a tad ambitious. But, like a FOOL, I did it anyway.)

So, on to the World Of Pain With Which We Are All Familiar...

Our master of ceremonies, Eddie, led us off with 10 jumping jacks. Not too bad. I can do this.

Then, we had 10 squats. Doable!

Then 10 push ups. Hm. Not so pleasant.

Next, 10 mountain climbers. Urgh.

Followed by 10 burpees. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..!

Oh dear god. That was hellish. But at least it’s over now.

Right? Right!?

Pfft. No.

By now, dizziness had set in, and my cough was starting to sound like some kind of distress bark.

But one more rep would be okay. I could get through this.

One more rep? What was I thinking?! Not one; not two; not three; not four; but FIVE reps of this horrorshow round of warm ups. Woe is me!

But it’s okay, we get a little break, while Eddie sets us up for the next 20 minutes of hell: punches, elbows, knees, and a kickboxing combo.

I think my brain has erased most of this from my mind, but it went something like:

10 jab, cross, left elbow.

10 jab, cross, right elbow.

10 jab, cross, elbow, elbow.

10 jab, cross, straight left knee.

10 jab, cross, straight right knee.

10 jab, cross, knee, knee.

10 jab, cross, left elbow up.

10 jab, cross, right elbow up.

10 jab, cross, elbow, elbow.

10 jab, cross, left side knee.

10 jab, cross, right side knee.

10 jab, cross, left roundhouse to the body.

10 jab, cross, right roundhouse to the body.

10 jab, cross, roundhouse, roundhouse.

No bother.

(By now, I’m pretty sure I was hallucinating pink elephants and hearing voices.)

Now that that’s over, what were we to do next? Eddie knows!

5 reps of 10 jumping jacks, squats, push ups, mountain climbers, and burpees.

Yes, that all told, those reps add up to 100 jumping jacks, 100 squats, 100 push ups, 100 mountain climbers, and 100 burpees.

I must have done many wrongs in a past life.

But at least now we all get to lie down.

Even if it is to do abs. All the abs.

Simple crunches, elbow to knee (both sides), bicycle abs, side-to-side abs (touching heels), kick out abs, knee slides. Pretty much all the awful abs.

And, to round it all off, 2 minutes of The Plank Of Doom. In theory, at least – my body was just laughing at me by this time.

But it was done, we got through this!

Next class, is our final one - and it's the Chrimbo Circuit!

Shelly will be on hand to report back – so, bring it on!

[theslug]

Absolutely brilliant write up and absolutely true.

[Shelly]

Last Bootcamp class! Last Circuit!

And its nearly Christmas! Eddie said we could have a Christmas theme. I LOVE Christmas, my dream job is an elf. My diminutive stature lends itself to the job as does my love of all things Christmas. Alas so far Santa has not called and monster.ie never have an elf opening. But I digress. The chance to combine two things I love, Christmas and training, well, it was always going to be the best class ever.

Did the first class, I never learn, and it was Ed on a mad buzz. Two coffees in things were not looking good for the circuit.

I did my best Clark Kent impersonation and headed to the nearest loo to get into my garb. Outfit complete I was ready for this circuit. Eddie seemed impressed/scared by the effort or should I say elfort we all put in. The music went on, and he told us the drill. Same as before except in place of mountain climber/ab tastic circuit there was the Tyre.

A tractor tyre is so called because it belongs on a tractor.

Its natural habitat. Not in the dojo. So we had to chuck that around the dojo trying to take anyones' head off and jump into and out of it.

I'm not sure what made it not so bad this time around. The music? The festive cheer? Eddie cartwheeling around the place like a loon? Because every time I'd be struggling I'd look around and see a snazzy Christmas top, an elf hat or some tinsel being tossed over a shoulder as my fellow reporter Joan worked the combos on the bag. It was such fun! Except when we got to the bag of doom.

Can I just say that jumping back and forth over that bag in regular clothes is tough. Try it in a full elf ensemble. The boots were having none of it and threw a hissy fit, so they sat at the side sulking whilst the socks took over the brunt of the work.

All joking aside, I want to say thank you to Eddie for putting all the energy into not just the circuit but the four weeks. The course is perfect for everyone from beginners to people who want to push themselves a bit more. I noticed progress heading into this week so am chuffed I think I might have persuaded some others to try it out next year, Laura I am looking at you

Sorry for the lack of pics, I'm all Photoshopped out

Until then here's your reporters and the Edster doing their thing!

I can't embed the video so here's so if you click on the image it should play the video.

[R. Devane]

This definitely wins the forum thread of the year....pity there was no prize because you all would definitely have won:

M.A.I. FORUM THREAD OF THE YEAR 2015