FIGHTING FITNESS WEEK 2017

[R. Devane]

***less than 2 week away -
FIGHTING FITNESS PROGRAM WEEK
Now enrolling for this exciting full week of Kickboxing, specifically designed to burn fat and tone up - (no sparring or risk of person to person injury). This is a dedicated 5 day real Kickboxing for fitness course - Yes, it's perfect for beginners too. No, it doesn't matter your age or current fitness level - you'll simply work from where you start and get out of it what you put in. One of the most fun training weeks of the year too. pm, email or call for full details or to hold your place.
Full details here:

www.martialartsinc.com/images/pdf-folder/2017/FIGHTINGFITNESSWEEK2017.pdf

[Deleted]

Just two weeks away peeps, can't wait to get stuck in and get the summer started good and proper with a right good sweat filled week! Looking to sign up, let us know!

[Deleted]

Less than a week to go! It's extremely likely I'll be in the best mood of my life and I'll be in that happy buzz as I'm torturing you guys, come on down! 👍🏻

[Deleted]

Starting this coming weekend after the bank holiday everyone! Get a nice weekend in and come in Monday for the best week of the year! Woo woo!

[sleepy]

Tuesday. Day Two.

I wake up in a warm bed, gently resting on my pillow. Sigh. I wonder what time it is. I do have to eat and hydrate before class at 11 after all. But I'm comfy. I'll check in a minute. The alarm hasn't gone off. I'm grand. Sigh


I wonder what time it is now?

10.18!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?

What the actual F?!?!?!?

15 mins later I'm on my way to class.

Quick run down:
Dressed? Yes
Washed? Ah who cares I'll be sweating soon
Bag Packed? I literally have no idea what's in there. I think there are gloves, still marinating in theie sweat from that last class.
Food? Ha! No chance
Water: Jesus I'm thirsty.....

I wonder will anyone notice the pillow creases still on my cheek?

I shouldn't have wondered, they were all too knackered after yesterday to care. It was like break time in prison, no one making eye contact, everyone wondering how their life went so badly. If only we'd made better choices.

And so it began.

I was feeling ok actually, when we started.


20 rounds on the bag.
Can I just get you to reread that plase? TWENTY!!!!!
Half a lord-loving HOUR on the bag, with the ginger ninja shouting numbers at us. how he expected us to remember what they referred to is beyond me.

It's 11.30. I've been out of bed for just over an hour and I already feel like this:



A bit of wheezing, gasping and stretching later and it was time for a "run" or a "jog".
God I wish I could curse on the forum. Unfortunately, for Mags (who is the best) I did manage to throw more eff-bombs in her direction than a good girl should.

At this stage people, all I can picture is the chicken I have in the fridge at home. It's like a siren-call. And oh the cheeky addition of stuffing!!!
it was all that got me through what were supposed to be combos but were really just f-bombs.

And the d'ya know what he did? Well, the little Ginger Boostand, gets us to do more ab work than Gal godot EVER had to do.

And THEN!!!?!!??

THEN 100 squats

100!!!!

[sleepy]

Day three. Wednesday. 11 hundred hours.

We're all a bit shook up but then the toons starts and it's 80s time with the Edzer!




I'm feeling the vibes and ready to kick ass. Yes there may have been coffee involved.

Even when 20 rounds of boxing are called, I think "ok Armstrong, one at a time. Ignore his jokes about your age (the b00stard)".
I'm all



for about a dozen rounds and then, seriously, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Punches and kicks are beyond me.
"Just hit the big black cusion thing, with your hand pillows. You got this"




Fecked Up Beyond Recognition.

Then we get a break. Oh yay! 2 minutes to remember my name and how to breathe. Thanks SO much Ed.


Suddenly I realise that the song on at the moment is "I'm H0rny". Yesterday we had "Smack my B1tch Up". I think tomorrow might be The Complete Works of Dr Dre.

No running, WOOHOO!!! Instead it's weights time. With skipping.

Rosa is all




And I'm all




She's lucky she's so lovely, or I'd hate the woman.

Things you think about while skipping:
Thank GOD I wore this bra
Don't look down, your glasses will fall off
If this rope broken? It keeps snagging
All this jumping is making the sweat on my face get in my eyes
Seriously, this bra is FAB
Don't look at Rosa, you'll never be that good
Is the buzzer broken?!


I know!!! Lets's so 6,358 abs!!! WOOHOO

Rosa:




Me:




Ok, ok it's combo time. Combos are good. Combos mean breating. Breathing is good.
Combos are not so good when your sneaky partner starts ADDING PUNCHES!!! Extra uppercuts, just to keep me awake.



Oh I know!! Let's do some more ABS!!!!

FFS, Eddie, seriously. SERIOUSLY!!?!?!?!?
Current mood:



By Friday I fully expect to look like this:


with glasses obviously

After 3 sets of 6,358 ab crunches of various hellish varieties. I look at the clock and there are only 15 minutes of hell left.
Just enough time to do 100 press ups. Did you read that? Let's try again

ONE HUNDRED PUSH UPS!!!!

One HUNDRED



Dead. Dead dead dead dead dead.

Dead.

Tomorrow this will by my inspiration for those rounds on the bag. Me and Eddie:

[Deleted]

Well Rachel I must admit, the picture your painting of me is one horrible creature.. I love it! Ha ha.

It's nearly over everybody! The course has been great to teach so far and the buzz in the room when the two hours are being done is great. There's a few complaints but, after they realise I don't listen to them, they get on with it and give it their all.

One more day to go and then it's all over for another year. Once again, it's always my favourite course to teach and I love seeing the improvements in everyone from day 1 to day 5. Roll on the last day!

Boom!

[sleepy]

Thursday. The Penultimate Period of Pain.

Mood on the way to the dojo



So I have good talk to myself. "Self," says I, "put your big-girl knickers on and twirl it out". And what do you know!!



I am ready to KICK ASS!

I don't think I've gotten across just how EXHAUSTING 30 mins on the bag it. Seriously, when you're my age....



After nearly knocking a hip out, it was time to do 7,329 abs. WOOHOO!!! I'm getting closer.....




That's what I look like in the mirror without my glasses, by the way. That's why I need glasses....

All night I had prayed for rain, I even did an culturally inappropriate rain dance and what do you know??! It fricking RAINED. Not that that would stop Eddie. He's not made of sugar like the rest of us. Made of **** more like.


It's time to run!! In a girlish fashion of course.



I was with the two injured Amazons - one shin splints, one sore legs and one lazy f**ker....guess which was me?

Entering the dojo after the run was like



The place was like a swamp. A perfect spot to do a 9-step combo all up close and personal with your sweaty partner!! But - wait - let's to 7,342 Abs first!!! YAY!!

I rocked the combo. Totally looked like this while no one was watching



OK I know, I shouldn't have brought the sword to the dojo, but what can I say? You never know when a Ginger will need to be impaled on a sharp object.

At this atage I have nothing left to give. Not a jot of wonder left in the woman. The sweat was body tears. I was done.
"But there's only 10 mins left, self," yes I do this a lot, "you are an animal! You are primal! You are a T-rex! ROAR!!!!!!!"

100 mountain climbers??!?! Bring them the Hell On!!


Unfortunately I chose the wrong animal......

[sleepy]

Day 5! The LAST DAY!!! We have arrived people!

It's been some journey, I'd just like to thank my.....

What? Oh FFS, ok ok , we've another day to go. Jesus, ruin a moment why don't you?

On the LAST DAY what words of wisdom, what inspirational tit bit did the Ginger have for us?

"Just survive"

OK, it's some serious sh!t when all you have to do it live. Don't die. What the EFF does he have in store? I'm scared but I'm also a survivor

20 Mother EFFING rounds on the bag. Lads, ladies and all those who have decided otherwise, I am SICK of 20 rounds on the bag. I AM the f!cking bag. Jesus. I just...

And so it begins. This whole session is just one "Kill me now" after another. I'm kinda seeing where Eddie's inspiring words came from.

A note on abs - Every day this week, Eddie has said reassuringly, lovingly even; "Sit down here now" and I've thought (every time!) "Self, he sees how fecked you are. You're going to get a pep talk".
Smelly a!se crack! We sit down and it's a flipping bazillion abs! F**ker

Then it's weights. Lots of carrying heavy things. Three times. Lots of it. With skipping as a treat. YAY!

"Sit down here now lads". Yeah yeah yeah, I see it now!!! ABS!!!

Ok, it's combo time. Which means breathing. I like breathing. Oh but no! we're going to spar each other. Oh yay.
OK no actually, that was a lot of fun. Honestly I think it proves just how amazing the group has been this week. Sometimes you look around and think "jesus" (or if you're Rosa "sheezuz"), but this was a great bunch of people. All week all they've done is encourage and take the pish.

Time to have a sit down with Eddie. Yeah you get the drill.

And then. And then. With 15 minutes go to.

Sit down. No really.

Do you kow what we said?

100

One HUNDRED burpees!!

Oh how we laughed!

Unfortunately the f&&ker was serious.

100?!?!?!?!?

I am convinced that the devil was on earth and decided to curse us all with the worst thing he could think of and came up with burpees. It''s f&&&ing bas^^d exercises are inhuman, against some NATO agreement, give me a minute and I'll find one.

And we were DONE!!! Done!!


Things that actually went through my mind during this week:
Is he serious?
There is no way I can do that?
Oh, I'm doing that!
Oh FFS. Breathe, just breathe, Can you do that? Just breathe
One more, ok three more
Look! Look what you did!
Ok, I can do this
Sweet mother of all that's holy I will kill him!
Jesus, I dunno if I can do this
I wonder has anyone actually ever died here?
Would anyone notice is I died?
Eddie would probably use my corpse as a weight, f&cker!
I could just walk out the door. No one would see.
Just survive.


The moral of the week - you can do so much more than you think you can.
Not as much as Eddie thinks you can, but SO much more than you think you can.

[Deleted]

Thanks very much to everyone who did the week and made it so enjoyable for me personally. Watching everyone give it their 100% was a pleasure and to get the best out of everyone was my job so hopefully we achieved that!

Big shout out to my buddy 'sleepy' AKA Rachel who was straight home everyday to post on here about the week and is the very best at doing so too. Thanks and well done!

The week is over but the club does not stop! On to our next adventure and more great training! Thanks all!

[R. Devane]

Rachel they were absolutely awesome posts - I can't even use this forum as good as that! Big well done to everyone.