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Post by R. Devane on Mar 10, 2017 17:06:10 GMT
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Post by R. Devane on Mar 13, 2017 18:44:34 GMT
roll up, roll up
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2017 10:56:05 GMT
My favourite course of the year is back! Can't wait to teach this as always and i have plenty of new tricks up my sleeve this year! Wanna know more?... book your place and find out people!
B
O
O
M
!!
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Post by R. Devane on Mar 21, 2017 13:25:46 GMT
2 week roll call  taking names now |
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Post by R. Devane on Mar 27, 2017 18:39:39 GMT
ooooooh starts next week |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2017 6:12:28 GMT
One week away! Ohh yea! Get the name down people and get the interest in! See you there next week!
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Post by R. Devane on Apr 3, 2017 17:37:11 GMT
best wishes to everyone starting Fighting Fitness tomorrow |
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orlaq
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Post by orlaq on Apr 5, 2017 21:47:54 GMT
"Bring it on, Eddie!!!" is what I'm optimistically thinking as I saunter through the dojo door. Did I say "optimistially"? I should have said "foolishly". There is no preparing for Eddie's particular brand of evil... I mean training. Each bootcamp is different: different moves, different stations, different curses muttered in Eddie's general direction...
EVERYBODY BOUNCE! We start off easy with a short boxing combo and then add in some blocks. Pretty simple stuff, this class is gonna be a doddle! a few more moves to warm up and then onto stretches.
On to round 2! 4 punches and a block KEEP BOUNCING!!! Okay, we're adding a few more moves to the combo. I can do this. KEEP BOUNCING!!! Was that my left or his left? KEEP BOUNCING!!! Okay, just adding a block/duck now KEEP BOUNCING!!! alright... 2 more punches KEEP BOUNCING!!!! and another block KEEP BOUNCING!!! and 4 more punches are added in KEEP BOUNCING!!! one more block and then 2 more punches KEEP BOUNCING!!!! KEEP BOUNCING!!!! KEEP BOUNCING!!!!!!!!
Did I mention we did every combo at least TWICE??? KEEP BOUNCING!!!!KEEP BOUNCING!!!!
Also, I apologise if I typed "block" when I should have typed "duck", it seems only fair since I mixed them both up so much last night!
We finish the completed combo and repeat ad nauseum (I think that's the first time I've ever truly meant that phrase!) My last few punches were not my finest, but in my defence 90% of my body had turned to jelly at this stage, and jelly is notoriously non-violent. It must be almost over? Surely Eddie'll take pity on us on our first session, right??? That Cheshire-Cat grin of his should have warned me.
RIGHT! ON THE FLOOR FOR SOME AB WORK!
30-second spread-leg plank. Not the worst, we survived.
30 seconds of simple abs. Ooh, I can feel that one.
30-second spread-leg plank. Is he sure it's only been ten seconds so far??? What's that look on his face? Is "gloaty" a real word?
30 seconds of simple abs. I'm involuntarily making very worrying sounds.
30-second spread-leg plank. COUNT. FLIPPING. FASTER!!!!!!!!!
30 seconds of simple abs. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! THE THING FROM ALIEN IS GOING TO BURST OUT OF MY CHEST!!!!!
And it's all over! I hear Eddie say Freedom and I reach for my towel and almost empty water bottle.
TIME TO EARN YOUR FREEDOM! What's that now?
TIME FOR TABATA! Oh sweet Jebus, not tonight, I've given my all!
Apparently Eddie saw more left in us. We had 20 second of high intensity punches (known in the trade as "going hatchet") on the bag, followed by a 10 second rest. 20 more seconds of punches and I'm now 95% jelly. 10 second rest but the jelly has almost entirely taken over my body. And not, unfortunately, in a Beyonce way. 30 more second of punches and Eddie's shouts make it through the jelly: I am tranformed into a psychotic jelly-baby, punching as though I've seen the punch-bag bite the head off my jelly child RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
And just like that, the first night of Fighting Fitness Bootcamp draws to a close. Eddie takes a few pictures of the group. He claims it's to have "beore and after" shots but really I think it's so he can cross us out one-by-one as he turns us into the Fighting Fitness Ninja army that we all know we're really being trained for... I've said too much!
Big shout out to Eddie and his selection of choons on Tuesday! Goooooooo team!
KEEP BOUNCING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by R. Devane on Apr 6, 2017 18:26:00 GMT
wow super report & blog - please keep them coming and the very best wishes to everyone on the course
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orlaq
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Post by orlaq on Apr 7, 2017 15:28:02 GMT
My attitude is less "Bring it on!" and more "Can you get internal bruising from punching a bag?" on Day 2 of Bootcamp. Tuesday's session was tough and my body is feeling pretty old and weary. Less Floyd Mayweather, more Floyd Mayfallover...
We seem to be missing a few people. Either Eddie has broken them... or they've achieved Ninja status and can no longer be detected... oh hang on, here they are: they were just hiding behind the Beast Of Craggy Island* (Apparently there will be no Ninja graduation ceremony this week (Now I'm wondering how empty a Ninja graduation ceremony would be?))
Back to Thursday! Eddie's taking it easy on us this week.
I'M ONLY DOING 10 STATIONS THIS TIME (I'm pretty sure he wont actually do any of the stations: it's hard to work out when you're lying on a mat eating grapes off a vine).
He quickly runs through the stations, demonstrating how easy it is do do one or two reps on each. I fear a full 3 minutes on each might be slightly more grueling.
Here is the innocent sounding list in order:
1) Skipping
2) Boxing on the bag
3) Shadow boxing
4) Mat work (10 push ups followed by ten abs)
5) Weighted shadow boxing
6) Speed Ball
7) The Beast of Craggy Island*
8) Steps (you'll have to resist the temptation to just run out the door)
9) Boxing on the bag
10) Barrel jumps
3 minutes on any of these will get your heart pumping and might produce a fine mist of perspiration. Completing all ten, with Eddie cackling all the while as you race from one to the next will have you sweating! I hate to reuse an old metaphor but this jelly was definitely more liquid than solid after the last station.
To reward our hard work Eddie let us redo every station. (The rejoicing he was expecting was deafeningly silent), but this time, we were to "REALLY GO FOR IT!". I don't know whether to be offended that he thought we had been holding back, or to feel chuffed that he thought we weren't completely shattered after the first circuit!
Either way, the timer was set for "JUST A MINUTE" and off we went. To be completely honest, I don't even remember going through the stations the second time: I was a Jelly woman on a mission! I vaguely remember loving the choons (honestly Eddie, where have you been hiding these playlists???) and Eddie creeping up on me from time to time (I assume it's part of the Ninja training), but before I knew it, day 2 of Bootcamp was over.
Eddie calls us over for a pep talk (and a secret head-count to see if anyone did flee while on the 8th station) and to warn us... I mean let us know that NEXT WEEK IS LEG WEEK.
NO NEED FOR GLOVES, NO NEED FOR WRAPS. YOU'LL JUST NEED TO TURN UP.
I forgot to ask Eddie but I assume the MAI will pay for the taxis we'll need to get home next week, right Robert???
2 classes down, 6 to go. I'm feeling optimistic about next week, I mean, how often do I really use my legs anyway?
Tune in next week for tips on how to walk down stairs on your hands, and where to rent wheelchairs on a budget.
KEEP BOUNCING!!!
*The Beast of Craggy Island: it's as big as four cats and has a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better and it lights up at night and it's got four ears, two are for listening and the other two are kind of back up ears and it's claws are as big as cups and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps, Mrs Doyle was telling me it's got magnets on it's tail, so if you're made of metal, it can attach itself to you and instead of a head, it's got four arses.
I'm not all wrong with the above description of the 7th station: there are definitely metal elements involved. The other elements are: weights, scary metal tentacles, and then some more weights again. If you were to ask someone to design a machine to represent anxiety and paralysing fear, this is the demon that would be presented.
Joint Crushing Beast. The name doesn't quite roll off the tongue so Eddie simply refers to it as the "JCB". (I swear I heard him whispering sweet nothings to it when he thought no-one could hear... )
Eddie demonstrated how to bench press with one of its limbs. It seems less scary now, but so would a serial killer if you saw it cradling a small ginger man-child. Deep down you still know it's killed before and it'll probably kill again!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 6:29:47 GMT
I'm delighted to read how enjoyable you found it Orla! Ha ha!, well done to all and with the return of the kicks tonight, I shall be on this tonight itching in wait to see how the legs are! See y'all tonight!
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Post by dkidd on Apr 11, 2017 8:52:20 GMT
Great write ups Orla and well done Eddie and all.
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orlaq
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Post by orlaq on Apr 13, 2017 14:26:14 GMT
I've had my suspicions for a while, but yesterday has confirmed it: Eddie is a witch.
The signs were always there: evil cackle, the power of invisibility (which he uses to sneak up and frighten the bejaysus out of you when you least expect it), and the ability to make 30 seconds of planking feel like an eternity... but yesterday he managed to mess with gravity.
Whatever spell he used increased the Earth's gravitational pull and resulted in my body feeling heavier, and the seemingly simple act of walking now felt like I was trudging through a swamp. A cruel trick to play at any stage, but (coincidentally) the day after "kicks night"? Bad Eddie!
I do owe Eddie a great deal of gratitude, however. After Tuesday's bootcamp my CV can now be updated to show that I am proficient in the following:
Spinning kicks (without falling over)
Tarzan-like shrieks
Kicking-in imaginary doors and letter boxes (I assume it's a per-requisite for the Ninja squad)
Smashing my toes on the bag every time Eddie snuck up on me shouting NOYANN (that's "9" for those of you not acquainted with Eddie's gentle vernacular)
How to go from a squat to a jump-kick (I can think of very few times in my life when I might need to use this move, but funnily enough my latest phobia is needing to use this move)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon-style Flying kicks (though he hasn't shown us how to do them in slow motion yet. I'd say we'll learn that when we move on to Neo's Matrix-style* bullet dodging)
How to fit squats into your 10 second Tabata break (IMPOSSIBLE, I hear you say! That's also what we would have said if we had had the energy, or could spare the breath)
And finally, how to go to my "special place" during the last three minutes of ab work (30 seconds of planks, followed by 30 seconds of leg raises, repeat x 2)
Tonight's circuits are going to be kick-based, which is to discourage us from fleeing when we're at the steps station (not that anyone will have the energy to run away!). I'm off to see if I can buy springs to hide in my shoes, or a doppelganger to take my place if The BEAST gets me!
Until tonight,
KEEP BOUNCING!!!
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orlaq
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Post by orlaq on Apr 20, 2017 18:56:33 GMT
When you study physics you learn that energy can be neither created nor destroyed. When you sign up for Bootcamp with Eddie you quickly learn that this is poppycock. You enter the dojo before 8pm with a "can-do" attitide and what you mistakenly believe to be boundless energy. Without fail however, Eddie works his magic, cracks his whip and you're left red-faced, out of breath and in general pain with only 56 minutes of bootcamp left! When 9 o'clock (eventually) arrives you're left with 2 options: assume the foetal position and cry silent tears (you no longer have the energy to make audible sounds at this point), or wait until you get home to cry in the privacy of your own room. Either way Eddie is left alone in the dojo with the Beast and his jar of stolen youth and energy. There's just no other way to explain how the Ginger Ninja looks so youthful at the tender age of 49. We get straight into it on Tuesday night: a kick and 2 punch combo. Repeat x10. Minimal shouting from Eddie so far. Bouncing is at maximum output. Add a block at the end and you're golden. Throw a little duckie into the mix. Very doable. x10 KEEP BOUNCING!!! Okay it's getting harder to bounce, I think he's messed with gravity again... 2 more punches added in. x10 Another duck. x 10. At this poing I realise bouncing and balance seem to be adversely affected by ducking. Which doesn't make any sense as you rarely see ducks falling over? 2 more punches. x 10 If I'm being honest my bouncing is no longer at maximum. Or minimum. It's more like the nervous stepping of someone who might need to go to the bathroom. And now a kick. "SIMPLE" Eddie informs us. I'm not sure if he's referring to the task at hand, or if his Alexandr Meercat Tourettes have kicked in again. He shows us a few more times. We're grateful for the opportunity to catch our collective breath. And the opportunity to do a quick head count to see if The Beast got anyone since the class started. TEN MOAR KEEP BOUNCING!!! I'm no longer pretending to bounce. The closest thing I can compare it to is the dragging of feet of someone shuffling to the bathroom in a semi-asleep state during the night. Master grants us a quick break to GRAB A DRINK IF YOU NEED IT and we wordlessly gulp from our bottles, wondering if anyone has ever declined the offer of a drinks-pause during one of his classes. On to Abs. I would shudder as I recall the next 6 activities, but alas, my core wont allow it. You see, 30 second of planking, followed by 30 seconds of bicycle abs was enough to break me this week. Eddie once again told us to go to our "special places" during Abs. Lucky for me my special place is on top of a steep hill so I was able to freewheel my bicycle abs with no need to pedal There was no free-wheeling the planking, though I was shaking as though my bicycle was careening through the cobblestoned-streets of TempleBar! As we struggled to stand up after the above torture Eddie smiled and uttered his favourite phrase. TABATA!!! 80 seconds doesn't seem like a long time, but when you're (attempting to) pulerverise a punch bag for 60 of those seconds I assure you, time stands still. And yet takes your breath away. And causes your entire being to ache. ALl of this is forgotten by the next class of course, and you return to the dojo with a topped-up can-do attitude and replenished energy for Eddie to steal all over again! KEEP BOUNCING!!! |
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orlaq
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Post by orlaq on Apr 20, 2017 23:41:27 GMT
As the old saying goes "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". If this is to be believed, I am soon to be in possession of super-human strengths. I'm basing this hypothesis on the fact that the last 3 classes have almost killed me.
In good news however, I have embraced The Beast! For the past three weeks Eddie has been cautiously introducing us to the JCB, and slowly but surely, we have earned its trust. Tonight, I even rode shotgun while doing bicep curls!
We seem to be missing a few comrades tonight (Early Ninja graduates?). I'm beginning to wonder if they knew how tough tonight was going to be and cleverly fled the country...)
Tonight's circuit (Eddie varies it slightly each week to incorporate our newly mastered skills) is as follows:
1) Skipping (invented by the Devil)
2) Kickboxing on the bag
3) Shadowboxing (invented on a sunny day, I believe)
4) Floor Work (10 squats, 10 abs, 10 push-ups x infinity)
5) Weighted Shadow Boxing
6) Leg Swingy Thingies (I'm 99% sure this is the actual name)
7) Bicep Curls on The Beast (7 reps and repeat)
8) Steps (invented by Channing Tatum in the film "Step Up")
9) Medicine Ball Throwamajigs (A very misleading name: medicine is supposed to make you feel better, this thing should be called "punishment ball")
10)Barrel Jumps (Also invented by the Devil, perfected by Eddie).
After 30 minutes the first round of pain is complete. We've managed to "survive" 3 minutes on each station, but, as always, the struggle doesn't end with just one lap.
Round 2 is "just a minute" long and while it's tough to get back into it for a second time, Eddie cranks up the choons and the 10 minutes fly by!
It's amazing the difference having a good playlist can make to your workout (was it called "rock work out" this evening Eddie?). I have to admit, Eddie's bellows of encouragement are also a great help. I wonder if he's thought of producing a work-out podcast?
Until next week,
KEEP BOUNCING!!!
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taking names now
